I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
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Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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