The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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