Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
