i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
