And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
