i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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