I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
