Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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