4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
