..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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