i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
