I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
