Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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