Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She's JV to your varsity
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
