Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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