why didn't you poke me back
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
