Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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