Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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