HIV tests are more positive than that guy
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
