What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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