ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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