great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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