I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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