Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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