exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
