So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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