so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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