Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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