Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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