with your own penis?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
