I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
