Midget sex pt 2 tonight
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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