just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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