remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
