my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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