You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize