I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
