what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
