you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
