Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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