trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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