White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
