you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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