There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How does one acquire holy water?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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