She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He shit in the fireplace
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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