Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
