I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize