Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
