So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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