I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
