genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
