watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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