Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
